1. Spreading fermented yeast extract — aka Vegemite — on toast and calling that a bloody good meal.
2. Mixing ice cream and soft drink together to create a drink called a spider.
3. Devouring a sausage that’s fresh off the BBQ and placed diagonally in a slice of white bread.
And don’t forget about the condiments — onions and a squeeze of sauce on top.
4. Or alternatively, going to Bunnings — which is a hardware convenience store, for the international folk — to grab a snag.
5. Chucking some Bega cubes and primo cabanossi together to make the original antipasti platter.
The height of sophistication.
6. Dousing hot chips in a thick coating of chicken salt.
7. Throwing some hundreds and thousands onto buttered white bread and calling that a party snack.
8. Soaking a classic meat pie in a bowl of thick pea soup.
9. Frying up big circles of potato and getting into raging debates over their official name.
Potato cakes? Potato scallops? Potato FRITTERS???? Who cares, just lemme eat ’em.
10. Lathering up a fresh bun with some icing and desiccated coconut.
11. Ordering a chicken parma — tomato sauce and cheese on some breaded chicken breast — almost every time you visit the local pub.
Or is it parmi? 👀 Anyway, don’t forget the chips and salad on the side.
12. Frothing over a Chiko Roll, which is essentially a load of cabbage stuffed in a pastry roll that has then been deep-fried.
13. Creating an Asian-inspired side to be the perfect accompaniment to fish and chips.
Fried dim sims will ALWAYS have a place in my heart (and stomach).
14. Shortening the iconic McDonald’s to the more Aussie-sounding Macca’s.
15. Adding beetroot, pineapple, and a fried egg to create the perfect burger.
16. Drinking alcohol out of a shoe.
17. Or guzzling down a whole bag of cask wine while playing Goon of Fortune.
18. Topping scoops of vanilla ice cream with some Milo.
19. Ending a long night of drinking with a trip to the local kebab store.
20. Eating devon sandwiches for lunch as a kid.
TBH, I was never a fan of these and I’m very reluctant to try them as an adult.
21. Putting chocolate frogs in jelly and selling them at school bake sales.
22. Picking up a sausage roll while you’re at the servo getting fuel.
23. And finally, converting chocolate-covered biccies into a makeshift straw so that they can be slurped in a hot beverage.
Name a more Australian thing than a Tim Tam slam — I dare you.